What is codependency? How does a codependent person behave and when should he reach out for help? Addiction is a mental disorder, the development of which not only has a negative effect on the sick person, but also affects the functioning of all family members.
What is codependency?
There is no top-down definition of codependency, but the syndrome is nevertheless defined as a set of behaviors manifested as a maladaptive and maladaptive reaction aimed at coping with a difficult situation in the family environment. Codependency concerns partners or spouses of addicts. As the addiction of parents / carers also affects children, they may experience symptoms related to the syndrome of codependence, which over time can develop into Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome.
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This syndrome relates, inter alia, to for alcohol, gambling, sex or drug addiction, however, it is most often diagnosed in the wives of alcoholics. It develops gradually, both with the progression of alcoholism and with the duration of the relationship. A codependent person subordinates his whole life to a sick person, and thus blurs the boundaries between his own self and others. In addition, she is convinced that she can control the addiction of a partner / spouse. As a result, he unconsciously tolerates and maintains the increasing pathological behavior.
In some cases, codependents may have the same characteristics, and moreover, may exhibit the same behaviors as addicts. First of all, they are certain that they are in control of the alcoholic’s drinking. They try to control the amount of alcohol drunk, throw it away or limit situations that can lead to intoxication. In fact, they have no effect whatsoever on the addict’s behavior. Moreover, the belief in the possibility of solving the problem on their own means that co-addicts postpone the decision to seek professional help.
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Their well-being depends on the behavior and mood of the addicted person. They are obsessed with their partner / spouse and try to explain their behavior to others. They even accept the pathological behavior that occurs when intoxicated. On the other hand, in the moments when their partner is sober, they have a false and false hope for change, and thus, they confirm that their action and help are effective.
Co-addicts take full responsibility for the partner’s problem. They try not to make him blame himself for the addiction and for the consequences of the disorder. As a result, they are accompanied by constant fear, anxiety, negative emotions, and are also prone to more frequent occurrence of depressive states and episodes. They put their own needs and desires aside, which means they have low self-esteem and self-esteem. Their happiness and value, however, depend on what help they offer to their partner.
Co-addicts often lie to hide their partner’s addiction from others. They take over the duties of a sick person, such as taking care of the home or supporting the family financially. They feel that they cannot cope on their own and therefore are unable to end a toxic relationship that significantly reduces their quality of life.
